Reflections

So, we are about to say "so long" to 2008 and "hello" to 2009.  As I sit here and reflect back on 2008, I am not sure if I accomplished much.  In fact, I really can't think of any major accomplishment I made in 2008.  I just kind of floated on through 2008.  I mean, don't get me wrong, I was an involved parent who taught her daughter many life lessons and supported and loved her.  I was a supportive wife who listened to her husband and loved him no matter what.  I was a teacher who was patient enough not to give up even when I felt like taking my purse and walking out the door.  I am not saying that those things aren't important.  I know they are.  I know that I am a good mother, wife, and teacher.  I know that my actions everyday make a difference in someone's life BUT I can't pinpoint one major life changing thing in 2008.  That is kinda a bummer!

I have a feeling that 2009 will be different!

Happy New Year!

December 26th

Today would have been my daddy's 61st birthday.  My daddy passed away August 4th 2005.  Sometimes it feels like just a dream and I find myself almost picking up the phone to give him a call.  The visions of my daddy before he passed are fading which is a good thing.  He only weighed about 60 pounds, was completely jaundice, and blind.  My mother was by his side almost every moment in the weeks before he passed.  I was almost in denial.  I thought "He always pulls through" or "He will outlive us all" but I was wrong.  I only saw him one time before he passed.  I went up there and told him that it was okay to let go.  Two days later, he did.  Mom said that before he passed, he took a big, deep breath and smiled from ear to ear.  When mom called me, I took off up to her house.  The ambulance had already taken him.  It was a very weird feeling at my mom's house.  It still is at times.  

My memories of my daddy are beginning to be those of before he was so sick.  You know, they funny memories.  Like the time we had a bon fire on his birthday.  It was very cold and he had some of his drinking buddies over.  Daddy was very very drunk.  He fell down and one of the labs started to have his way with daddy.  Yes, the dog was humping him.  Andy and I were laughing so hard that tears were running down our faces.  Everyone was laughing so hard that no one was able to get up and help him.  Jake just had to "finish" with daddy.  Those memories are ones that keep me from crying during the holidays!

Of course, I have regrets.  I think anyone does that has lost a family member.  I wish that I spent more time with him.  I wish that I had called him just one more time.  I wish that he had held Madison more often.  I wish that I hadn't been so judgemental about his drinking and working because who am I to judge.

I love my daddy.  I wish that he could see and appreciate how cool Madison is.  

Call your daddy's and tell them you love them.  You never know when there won't be another chance!

Psalms 134

 Psalm 139 (NIV)

It is so important to have the word of God hidden in our hearts.  Here is a plan to memorize Psalms 134 in 18 days.  I got the idea from Angie (a wonderful blogger that I came across).  I am going to give it my best shot.  I was never great at memorizing my bible verses.

1 O LORD, you have searched me and you know me 

2You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.

3 You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways

4 Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD

5 You hem me in-behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.

7 Where can I go from your Spirit?  Where can I flee from your presence?

8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea

10 Even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.

11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,"

12 Even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you

13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your words are wonderful, I know that full well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.  When I was woven together in the depths of the earth

16 your eyes saw my unformed body.  All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!  How vast is the sum of them!

18 Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand.  When I awake, I am still with you

19 If only you would slay the wicked, O God!  Away from me, you blood thirty men!

20 They speak of you with evil intent; your adversaries misuse your name

21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD, and abhor those who rise up against you?  

22 I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies

23 Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts

24 See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

SCHEDULE:

Day 1: Verse 1 and 2

Day 2: Verse 3 and 4

Day 3: Review and Catch-up

Day 4: Verse 5 and 6

Day 5: Verse 7 and 8

Day 6: Review and Catch-up

Day 7: Verse 9 and 10

Day 8: Verse 11 and 12

Day 9: Review and Catch-up

Day 10: Verse 13 and 14

Day 11: Verse 15 and 16

Day 12: Review and Catch-up

Day 13: Verse 17 and 18

Day 14: Verse 19 and 20

Day 15: Review and Catch-up

Day 16: Verse 21 and 22

Day 17: Verse 23 and 24

Day 18: Review and Catch-up

Good luck!  Let me know how it is working for you!

Mandy